the waiting game
I don’t believe we are born like an untouched piece of paper. Each of our futures, written or unwritten, are unknown to us at the very least. The future gives all of us an illusion of untouched frontier.
I recently went to a conference for youth workers across the country. Whenever I start to listen to speakers, no matter where I’m at, I start to think, “hey I could do that”. I think about all my good ideas for ministry, all my theological thoughts, and all my “wisdom”.
I know most of my judgement comes from a place of pride. I think about my little time spent in the world. I think about my lack of credibility.
So this is where I sit. Waiting for inspiration to fall upon me. Looking ahead and waiting for the years to pass when I feel its appropriate to share my collected thoughts on God, life, love and culture.
Silence
I realize my waiting isn’t out patience, but out of a fear that maybe I’m actually wrong. Is the story I have to give good enough that other’s would want to hear? All of us have read enough blogs to realize, maybe we should be listening to the experts on at least a few topics before we agree with every opinion article out there.
Am I person people would want to hear? Should I wait 10 years till I’m actually the person I myself would listen to?
God doesn’t wait to tell a good story. God doesn’t wait to use a person until they are respected or even that talented. God uses those that are available.
In the eternal words of a sponge, “I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready”.
Worthy
Each person on this planet is one of God’s masterpieces. Only recently have I become truly overwhelmed with the idea that God has chosen me to do His work at all. The fact that God has left us all as stewards of this world is astounding in itself. Then Christ calls us into ministry as ambassadors of reconcilliation. Each one of us. Ministers.
Do we live worthy of that call?
Despite our running from God, He finds us. The Father draws us to Himself and shows us the love we desire in this world is only possible through our worship of Him.
Someday God will look at each of us and ask how we used our time. Did we live as someone that understands how much grace costs?
I hope when that day comes and God sees me, He doesn’t see a man who thought too lowly or highly of himself. But a man who walked humbly and continued gladly into whatever ministry God bestowed upon him.
However great in the sight of man I may be, may I always only count the eyes of my Savior as the measure of my worth.